Top 10 Things Every Strongman Gym Needs for Christmas
There is something to be said about a place where after your core lift, everything becomes a pissing match. Strongman competitors are by far the most ADHD competitors of the strength world. Why, you might ask? Because after liftoff, our spastic brains uncontrollably do one of two things: throw it or walk it to the county line and back. As the proud owner of a Strongman gym, I have compiled a list of the top 10 things we need for Christmas or we are taking everything not bolted down to the edge of the parking lot, overhead pressing it, and bringing it back it in less than 70 seconds.
Signature Multi-Half Rack w/ Weight Storage: Why a half rack over a full cage? Two reasons: We do not do well in confined spaces, and you can thrash around in this mother. Next, we lift all kinds of odd crap taking it in, and out is way easier if the rack only has three sides. The biggest functional bonus is that you can drop just about anything on the safety bars of this bad boy.
Competition Power Bench: There is one thing all Strongmen want to hear when walking out to the log event: “His brute pressing strength is unmatched.”
Texas Dead Lift Bar: We love the dead lift… almost as much as Dave T. hates it (that man has problems, if you ask me…who hates the dead lift…).
EFS Multi-Grip Swiss Bar: This one is great for your benching; the 12-inch log is like pressing at four boards. Why should you be neutral benching as a Strongman? Because strict log press is like diet pizza: NOT A REAL THING.
Log 5’ Body 12” Diameter: If you are not log pressing, then you are not a Strongman…You are just the weirdest damn powerlifter in the room.
Fat Bar (El Gordo): You’ve got to have an Axle, all your friends are doing it, and revolving ends are for Olympians. That’s all I got to say about that.
Dragging Sled: We are like a moth to the flame on this one.
Yoke – Super: The weight of the world on your shoulders is not enough; you need at least 10-20 more pounds. Plus, you can set the bar at 48” and start sending stuff over it!!!
6’ Farmers Walk Handles Pair: (I hear they also make an econo-version for your Pandora bracelet) Farmers walk is hands down my favorite thing to do after dead lifting.
EFS Rick Shaw: Neck!!!! NECK?!?!?! We don’t need no stinking neck!!! Do people keep passing out from carbon monoxide poisoning as you pull your car into the gym for dead lifting? Tired of trashing all your bars on the 18” Dead lift ? This bad boy solves all your problems with three different handle sizes: Powerlifter (1 11/4”), Strongman (2”), and Billy Bad ASS (2 3/8”).
So, there you have it, the Primal Training Studio EliteFTS Christmas wish list. If your friends and family are going to go cheap on you, demand the Signature Multi-Half Rack w/ Weight Storage, Fat Bar, Farmers Handles, and the 12” Log. I am assuming you already have 1,000 lbs. worth of plates and a beard.
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Ryan Minney (BSPeEd) is the owner of Primal Training Systems based out of Chillicothe, OH. PTS is a private strength gym that focuses on Strongman training and event preparation. He is also an Ultra-Lightweight Competitive Strongman registered with the North American Strongman Association. Ryan has an undergraduate degree from the University of Idaho in sports science with an emphasis in education and a minor in public health education.
Nice list but you gotta have Stones or at least a simulated trainer thing.
Peace~Barney
Nice list but you really need stones or at least one of those simulator trainer things.
Peace~Barney
“If you are not log pressing, then you are not a Strongman…You are just the weirdest damn powerlifter in the room.”
That cracked me up.
What? No BOSU ball? KIDDING !!!!!!!!
Can you forward this list to Santa for me?